I am so amazingly excited because I am about to have my first communion at my church, St. Francis. I have been wanting to have my first Communion for years. My Gram was a very devout Catholic and a religious person. She died last year, and I miss her so much.
Gram was so special to me, almost like a best friend. She had a short haircut that always looked so pretty. Her dark brown eyes sparkled when she looked at me, and her voice was like music when she said my name.
Gram spent a lot of time with me when I was little. I remember getting ice cream with her and going to the park. I remember going to McDonalds with her and how she always let me get ice cream and sat close to me. I loved the way she smelled, like flowers and jasmine.
Gram always made me feel loved. She would always say that I was her favorite boy and Olivia was her favorite girl. My Gram never got mad at me or yelled. She was so patient and kind. Her constant praise made me feel good when I was not feeling good about much else because I had no way to communicate. I think that I finally found my voice because it was so important that I be able to talk about how sad I was when she died.
My Gram taught math. I wish she was here to teach me.
My Gram believed in God and so do I. I see the hands of absolute divine perfection in so much of the natural world and the environment. People often do not appreciate the amazing beauty that we are fortunate to have been given, gifts from God, so wonderfully created. Knowing that my Gram would be proud of me as I receive my first communion makes me feel so close to her, and I think she is the reason I have found my way to communicate. Every day I thank her in the silent prayers I say to her and to God.
Going to church has always given me a peace that I cannot describe. Perhaps the answer is the symbolism that permeates, the idea that a creator put the universe in motion and the stars in the sky. I believe in a God who knows our sorrows and our joys, who cheers for us in times of triumph and weeps with us in times of sadness. I most of all believe in a God who rights the injustices of this world in the next world, where we are all healed and trusting of each other's goodness and not seeking to be the most rewarded and recognized.
I am not a typical person because of my autism, but I have reasons to be grateful. I have a mom who ensures that I am learning, a dad who works hard to make sure my family is taken care of, a sister who is talented and funny, a home that welcomes pets, and a future that looks better. I am always going to need help but now I can express my thoughts. I will not be trapped inside my mind. I am determined to make the best of my life and to do what I know would have made my Gram proud.
